PART 1: for the past few years at x-mas i've experimented with different ways of re-directing gifts. last year, i asked people to give to a cause they cared about, and share about it on christmas morning. this prompted my aunt to give $500 to a health center in west africa that does surgery for women with vaginal fistulas, a simple procedure in a region where women are totally shunned from the community for this condition. the center seems pretty comprehensive in their work: not just in-and-out surgery, but housing, support in recovery, education...whatever my personal views on medicine and cultural sensitivity, to me the point is that my aunt moved $500 when it otherwise would've stayed in savings. the exercise, and the sharing with the rest of the fam on christmas morning, felt well worth it.
this year i asked everyone to give to resource generation. i had hoped it would spark more conversation and engagement than it did; folks didn't ask me about the work any more than the bits and pieces i've shared before. BUT, i did raise $375 for RG, which makes me far happier than any gift certificate to amazon.com ever could (the fallback gift from extended family).
what have other people tried out with giving and gift exchanges?
PART 2: this year i got $3,500 from my grandma. normally i promptly just add these annual gifts to my inheritance-bank account (where i do my giving from, and which is also about 10 times as much money as i have in my personal earnings and checking account).
2009 is the first year i was seriously giving money away; and because of working under the table for some months, not earning *that* much money overall (relatively speaking!), and complicated tax laws, i have actually hit the maximum amount i can give away and still have it be tax-deductible. i am very unclear how i feel about paying taxes. very unclear. but what i am clear on is that my dad feels strongly that giving at a slower rate over time and having it all be tax deductible will in the end save significant amounts of money, which i can then give away. money that otherwise would've gone to the government as tax. but the point here is not to talk about taxes. the point of this Part 2 is to share how i moved this money.
so this is what i did-- i wrote the check over to my parents, who have high enough income that there is no danger of hitting this magical, give-too-much-and-don't-get-tax-deduction amount. the money totally surpasses me, going straight from granny to mom & dad. then, i got to sit down with my dad and direct him where to give $4,000*!
so suddenly instead of just having granny's yearly gift meld into my bank account, i got to move it all, immediately. it felt awesome to just do it; a good practice in not thinking too hard or too long...there is definitely a time and place for thinking long, hard, strategically, but there is also a place for taking an opportunity when it arises and realizing at the end of the day, $4,000 is being given NOW to places that need it. and, i'm getting to sit with my dad and tell him snippets about where i'm directing the money, he gets to see i'm trying to be responsible with my wealth, and we both get to participate in this practice of creative philanthropy.
so, those are some stories on christmas presents. what are yours?
*the extra $500 is what they now do not have to pay in taxes- the deduction on the $3,500 worth of gifts- so they let me give that away too! $1,000 each went to: Fund For Southern Communities, USSF 2010, POOR, and RG.
Showing posts with label POOR. Show all posts
Showing posts with label POOR. Show all posts
Monday, December 28, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
post- MMMC
so much, so much. not coherent yet, maybe never will be. but what i'm left with is such an intense and visceral understanding and appreciation for the ways that deep ideas, emotions, reactions, knowledge can seep into my being without my even knowing it.
for the first two days of MMMC i was fully present, but almost to a fault. there was something about being there as an organizer, no longer the new kid, that made it harder to access my own vulnerability. but somewhere around saturday morning (in no small part due to Tyrone and Tiny's workshop, to be sure) i really felt...alive. for the rest of the weekend, and into today, i've remained in this incredible place of thought, of struggle, of challenge, of confusion, but also with such peace, such tranquility. i don't feel lonely in it. for the first time in a long time, i don't feel lonely with these feelings.
MJK, i wish you had been there. all of my personal and organizing work around wealth and class certainly doesn't center around moving home, nor should it. but it was a topic that continues to make it's way into all those spaces, no matter what aspect of privilege i am talking about. or even, what aspect of humanness i am talking about. what MJK writes in the recent post up here, or what i wrote about for Enough this summer, it all builds and shifts. and every time i talk about it, it feels more nerve-wracking, but more possible.
three scary things still swirl in my mind. scary isn't bad. it's just....tenuous excitement...maybe? thanks to those of you this weekend in particular who reminded me i'm not alone in these worries.
scary #1: who and what i think is cool don't necessarily think moving home is cool.
i get thumbs up and support for my decisions, sure. but at the end of the day, the radical, mostly-queer, mostly-privileged, mostly young folks i turn to as my "community," who i look to for guidance about life-choices, are not making this decision. they are living in communal houses or co-ops or lovely, loving families of choice. the cool rich kids movement, as billy wimsatt coined much of the RG world, tends to supports certain models of rebellion over others... parents = not cool. where you came from= everything wrong with the world. presenting alternative, more nuanced models is hard. and scary. and feels unpopular. wasn't i supposed to get over this anxiety in middle school?
scary #2: what if i wake up when i'm 40, having lived with my folks for 15+ years, and feel terribly, deeply, regretfully ALONE?
this sounds dramatic, but it's so real. beyond the scariness of making unpopular decisions- no, underlying the scariness of making unpopular decisions- is the fear of being alone. i have always feared being alone. not alone like, i can't depend on myself (in fact, i am sometimes a loner to the point of my own detriment) but alone like, really, deeply resisting the dominant paradigm of partners and children and nuclear families. living with my folks doesnt prevent that scenario, but it certainly would change the decisions i made leading up to that dreaded mid-life morning.
someone recently made the excellent point that moving in with my parents and working on building multi-generational community still actively includes relationships with people my own age. but fighting the idea that long-term relationships and people to grow old with (not just lover-types, but all types) have to be within a certain age range is fucking hard.
beyond that-- even validating my relationships with my parents, or their/my older friends is incredibly difficult! i was home over a weekend last month and spent all saturday night cooking, drinking wine, eating, talking with my folks and close family friends. was that genuine fun, authentic relationships, and community? for sure. did i feel like i was missing out on my "real" life, not attending a queer dance party or having brunch with my young friends in brooklyn? for sure. how do i validate, to myself as much as anyone, the time i spend like this? again, the middle-school cool factor rears its head.
scary #3: what if i turn into my parents?
this is a different kind of scary. in many ways, i DO want to turn into my parents (mom, i love you). or at least learn a hella lot from them. but in other ways, i honestly want to make different decisions. i'm not sure i want to live in such a sheltered place (like literally, on the street i grew up on). i'm not sure i want to offer my kids- if i take that path- a guaranteed private college education. or trips to other countries. maybe i will. i have no idea. but i want to make sure i am pushed to have those different options, and worry i'll fall into old patterns too easily if i'm at home (this includes lots of not-so-good-for-me adolescent habits that creep up from time to time when i spend too long at home). will i be a perpetual 16 year old? i wasn't very happy at 16. i worry.
i also worry that in moving home i'm totally mooching off my privilege, futher burrowing into the cushion of it rather than pushing against it. but it's not like i can ever step out of it, so on my better days i say, why not just dive headfirst into it?
xoxo.
for the first two days of MMMC i was fully present, but almost to a fault. there was something about being there as an organizer, no longer the new kid, that made it harder to access my own vulnerability. but somewhere around saturday morning (in no small part due to Tyrone and Tiny's workshop, to be sure) i really felt...alive. for the rest of the weekend, and into today, i've remained in this incredible place of thought, of struggle, of challenge, of confusion, but also with such peace, such tranquility. i don't feel lonely in it. for the first time in a long time, i don't feel lonely with these feelings.
MJK, i wish you had been there. all of my personal and organizing work around wealth and class certainly doesn't center around moving home, nor should it. but it was a topic that continues to make it's way into all those spaces, no matter what aspect of privilege i am talking about. or even, what aspect of humanness i am talking about. what MJK writes in the recent post up here, or what i wrote about for Enough this summer, it all builds and shifts. and every time i talk about it, it feels more nerve-wracking, but more possible.
three scary things still swirl in my mind. scary isn't bad. it's just....tenuous excitement...maybe? thanks to those of you this weekend in particular who reminded me i'm not alone in these worries.
scary #1: who and what i think is cool don't necessarily think moving home is cool.
i get thumbs up and support for my decisions, sure. but at the end of the day, the radical, mostly-queer, mostly-privileged, mostly young folks i turn to as my "community," who i look to for guidance about life-choices, are not making this decision. they are living in communal houses or co-ops or lovely, loving families of choice. the cool rich kids movement, as billy wimsatt coined much of the RG world, tends to supports certain models of rebellion over others... parents = not cool. where you came from= everything wrong with the world. presenting alternative, more nuanced models is hard. and scary. and feels unpopular. wasn't i supposed to get over this anxiety in middle school?
scary #2: what if i wake up when i'm 40, having lived with my folks for 15+ years, and feel terribly, deeply, regretfully ALONE?
this sounds dramatic, but it's so real. beyond the scariness of making unpopular decisions- no, underlying the scariness of making unpopular decisions- is the fear of being alone. i have always feared being alone. not alone like, i can't depend on myself (in fact, i am sometimes a loner to the point of my own detriment) but alone like, really, deeply resisting the dominant paradigm of partners and children and nuclear families. living with my folks doesnt prevent that scenario, but it certainly would change the decisions i made leading up to that dreaded mid-life morning.
someone recently made the excellent point that moving in with my parents and working on building multi-generational community still actively includes relationships with people my own age. but fighting the idea that long-term relationships and people to grow old with (not just lover-types, but all types) have to be within a certain age range is fucking hard.
beyond that-- even validating my relationships with my parents, or their/my older friends is incredibly difficult! i was home over a weekend last month and spent all saturday night cooking, drinking wine, eating, talking with my folks and close family friends. was that genuine fun, authentic relationships, and community? for sure. did i feel like i was missing out on my "real" life, not attending a queer dance party or having brunch with my young friends in brooklyn? for sure. how do i validate, to myself as much as anyone, the time i spend like this? again, the middle-school cool factor rears its head.
scary #3: what if i turn into my parents?
this is a different kind of scary. in many ways, i DO want to turn into my parents (mom, i love you). or at least learn a hella lot from them. but in other ways, i honestly want to make different decisions. i'm not sure i want to live in such a sheltered place (like literally, on the street i grew up on). i'm not sure i want to offer my kids- if i take that path- a guaranteed private college education. or trips to other countries. maybe i will. i have no idea. but i want to make sure i am pushed to have those different options, and worry i'll fall into old patterns too easily if i'm at home (this includes lots of not-so-good-for-me adolescent habits that creep up from time to time when i spend too long at home). will i be a perpetual 16 year old? i wasn't very happy at 16. i worry.
i also worry that in moving home i'm totally mooching off my privilege, futher burrowing into the cushion of it rather than pushing against it. but it's not like i can ever step out of it, so on my better days i say, why not just dive headfirst into it?
xoxo.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Check it out!
Flipping the Script on Poverty-- POOR Magazine's welfareQueens, by Jess Hoffmann
The Bay Area-based welfareQueens, a project of the POOR News Network, are fighting back against a system that dehumanizes poor mothers—with poetry, theater, and any other media tool they can access. welfareQueens began in a kitchen in San Francisco’s Mission District when a group of poor women who knew each other from anti-poverty organizing gathered around a table to share their personal stories....[read more]
The Bay Area-based welfareQueens, a project of the POOR News Network, are fighting back against a system that dehumanizes poor mothers—with poetry, theater, and any other media tool they can access. welfareQueens began in a kitchen in San Francisco’s Mission District when a group of poor women who knew each other from anti-poverty organizing gathered around a table to share their personal stories....[read more]
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