post- MMMC

so much, so much. not coherent yet, maybe never will be. but what i'm left with is such an intense and visceral understanding and appreciation for the ways that deep ideas, emotions, reactions, knowledge can seep into my being without my even knowing it.

for the first two days of MMMC i was fully present, but almost to a fault. there was something about being there as an organizer, no longer the new kid, that made it harder to access my own vulnerability. but somewhere around saturday morning (in no small part due to Tyrone and Tiny's workshop, to be sure) i really felt...alive. for the rest of the weekend, and into today, i've remained in this incredible place of thought, of struggle, of challenge, of confusion, but also with such peace, such tranquility. i don't feel lonely in it. for the first time in a long time, i don't feel lonely with these feelings.

MJK, i wish you had been there. all of my personal and organizing work around wealth and class certainly doesn't center around moving home, nor should it. but it was a topic that continues to make it's way into all those spaces, no matter what aspect of privilege i am talking about. or even, what aspect of humanness i am talking about. what MJK writes in the recent post up here, or what i wrote about for Enough this summer, it all builds and shifts. and every time i talk about it, it feels more nerve-wracking, but more possible.

three scary things still swirl in my mind. scary isn't bad. it's just....tenuous excitement...maybe? thanks to those of you this weekend in particular who reminded me i'm not alone in these worries.

scary #1: who and what i think is cool don't necessarily think moving home is cool.
i get thumbs up and support for my decisions, sure. but at the end of the day, the radical, mostly-queer, mostly-privileged, mostly young folks i turn to as my "community," who i look to for guidance about life-choices, are not making this decision. they are living in communal houses or co-ops or lovely, loving families of choice. the cool rich kids movement, as billy wimsatt coined much of the RG world, tends to supports certain models of rebellion over others... parents = not cool. where you came from= everything wrong with the world. presenting alternative, more nuanced models is hard. and scary. and feels unpopular. wasn't i supposed to get over this anxiety in middle school?

scary #2: what if i wake up when i'm 40, having lived with my folks for 15+ years, and feel terribly, deeply, regretfully ALONE?
this sounds dramatic, but it's so real. beyond the scariness of making unpopular decisions- no, underlying the scariness of making unpopular decisions- is the fear of being alone. i have always feared being alone. not alone like, i can't depend on myself (in fact, i am sometimes a loner to the point of my own detriment) but alone like, really, deeply resisting the dominant paradigm of partners and children and nuclear families. living with my folks doesnt prevent that scenario, but it certainly would change the decisions i made leading up to that dreaded mid-life morning.
someone recently made the excellent point that moving in with my parents and working on building multi-generational community still actively includes relationships with people my own age. but fighting the idea that long-term relationships and people to grow old with (not just lover-types, but all types) have to be within a certain age range is fucking hard.
beyond that-- even validating my relationships with my parents, or their/my older friends is incredibly difficult! i was home over a weekend last month and spent all saturday night cooking, drinking wine, eating, talking with my folks and close family friends. was that genuine fun, authentic relationships, and community? for sure. did i feel like i was missing out on my "real" life, not attending a queer dance party or having brunch with my young friends in brooklyn? for sure. how do i validate, to myself as much as anyone, the time i spend like this? again, the middle-school cool factor rears its head.

scary #3: what if i turn into my parents?
this is a different kind of scary. in many ways, i DO want to turn into my parents (mom, i love you). or at least learn a hella lot from them. but in other ways, i honestly want to make different decisions. i'm not sure i want to live in such a sheltered place (like literally, on the street i grew up on). i'm not sure i want to offer my kids- if i take that path- a guaranteed private college education. or trips to other countries. maybe i will. i have no idea. but i want to make sure i am pushed to have those different options, and worry i'll fall into old patterns too easily if i'm at home (this includes lots of not-so-good-for-me adolescent habits that creep up from time to time when i spend too long at home). will i be a perpetual 16 year old? i wasn't very happy at 16. i worry.
i also worry that in moving home i'm totally mooching off my privilege, futher burrowing into the cushion of it rather than pushing against it. but it's not like i can ever step out of it, so on my better days i say, why not just dive headfirst into it?

xoxo.

making money make change: it matters.

this is an email by kristen cox, a resource generation rockstar. i got permission from her to post the email here, as she does an incredible and compelling job articulating the importance of spaces like making money make change. please read!

9/8/09

Subject: i hope you will read this. it matters to me that you do.

friends, i'm writing to you because we all know and love folks involved in the struggle who come from privileged backgrounds. you may be one, or your close friend who may or may not be aware of, or want to talk about it or face it head on. i am one of those folks whose politics, scope and path CHANGED after attending this Making Make Money Change conference (MMMC) in 2005. After which I came back to Chicago, donated inherited stock, and invited peers to help create the Fire This Time Fund.

MMMC has been THE most important participatory and engaged, cross-class, multi-racial space that has helped unite my three identities: class priviledged, queer, and liberal with the motivation to continue to ask hard questions of myself, my family, the world, etc. I have met INCREDIBLE people. Coined by Billy 'Upski' Wimsatt as the cool rich kids movement and from where this fabulous blog: EnoughMake/Shift Magazine partly erupted from.

I urge you to forward on. Tell your Peers. This year the conference theme is on building community alternatives for economic transformation and the keynote speaker is Adrienne Maree Brown! and

Not to mention it is always held in a beautiful, off the grid(ish) location with uber fresh and healthy food. More detailed info is included below. Fliers are attached!

I am also happy to meet 1:1, talk about my experiences, give a bit of a supportive arm to anyone who seeks it. We can all help young people with wealth (or with future access to resources) move from isolation to community, inaction to action, and help increase their giving of money, time and energy towards social justice.

Thank you for reading and considering this plea.

In peace and struggle,
Kristen

MMMC 2009: Community Alternatives For Economic Transformation
November 12-15, 2009
Isabella Freedman Jewish Retreat Center, Falls Village, CT

What is MMMC?
Making Money Make Change (MMMC) is a national, multiracial gathering for young people with wealth (ages 18-35) who believe in social change. MMMC is a confidential space to explore issues related to wealth, privilege, philanthropy, and participation in grassroots movements for justice and equality. Through workshops, discussions, and community-building activities participants support, challenge, and inspire each other to align their resources with their values and work for personal and societal transformation. While the majority of participants are young people with wealth, social movement leaders and nonprofit practitioners from other class backgrounds are invited to speak, facilitate sessions, and participate in the entire retreat. MMMC is co-sponsored by four national social change organizations: Tides Foundation, Funding Exchange, Third Wave Foundation, and Resource Generation.

Generally, MMMC participants feel like they have or will have access to more resources than they need. “Wealth” is self-defined by those who participate, and the amount of wealth people have access to varies greatly. Young people with wealth are racially diverse and their money comes from many sources including inheritances, earnings, lottery winnings and legal settlements. Some people who are involved have access to philanthropic resources (for example, as board members of family foundations), but may not have access to personal wealth.

Register Now! To register for this year's MMMC go to www.makingmoneymakechange.org

2009 Theme: Community Alternatives For Economic Transformation
Our 12th annual retreat brings us together at a moment framed by financial crisis. How are communities responding? How are people working together to create alternatives to unjust and unsustainable economic arrangements? What are the roles of cross-class movements in working towards social, racial, environmental and economic justice?

Keynote: Adrienne Maree Brown
Adrienne Maree Brown is the executive director of The Ruckus Society, which brings nonviolent direct action training and action support to communities impacted by economic, environmental and social oppression. She sits on the boards of Allied Media Projects and the Center for Media Justice (and just stepped down from the boards of Wiretap Magazine and the Brower Center), and is a participant in Somatics and Social Justice. Adrienne facilitates the development of organizations throughout the movement (most recently Young Women’s Empowerment Project, New Orleans Parents Organizing Network, ColorofChange.org and Detroit Summer). A co-founder of the League of Pissed Off/Young Voters and graduate of the Art of Leadership and Art of Change yearlong trainings, Adrienne is obsessed with learning and developing models for action, community strength, movement building and transformation.


Location:
The retreat will take place at the Isabella Freedman Jewish Retreat Center in Falls Village, Connecticut, accessible by a 25-minute shuttle ride from Metro North Railroad-Wassaic and a two and a half hour drive from New York City. The retreat center sits on 450 rural acres in northwestern CT, is environmentally friendly and serves food from local organic growers when possible including food grown on their organic farm. The retreat center is wheelchair accessible. For more about the Retreat Center, see their Web site at http://www.isabellafreedman.org/

If you have questions about MMMC, please e-mail Stephanie Yang, Retreat Director, at sydconsulting@gmail.com

Thank you,

The Making Money Make Change Planning Committee

Anthony Colón
Theo Yang Copley
Elokin
Eliot Estrin
Elspeth Gilmore
Nikki Morse
Matt Osborn
Naomi Sobel
Monica Simpson
stephanie yang


MMMC is sponsored by Resource Generation, Tides Foundation, the Funding Exchange and Third Wave Foundation, and organized by a cross-class team comprised of representatives of those organizations and past MMMC attendees.
http://resourcegeneration.org/
http://www.tidesfoundation.org/
http://www.fex.org/
http://www.thirdwavefoundation.org/